Sunday, June 25, 2006
Donation Education
In this fast-paced, nuclear era, I find myself broke. Croe (also broke) and I decided, based on watertight financial advice from the movie, The Way of The Gun, that we needed money. Ryan Philippe's character says, "In this day of age, a quart of blood can fetch you $50. A shot of cum: $3000." Naturally, we looked into it. Apparently, such an unholy high number of altruistic souls exists here that they have no need to actually pay people for plasma. No, there are no such programs. There is one in Flint, I think, and it doesn't pay fifty dollars. More like twenty, which is barely enough to cover the gas. Onwards and upwards, we Googled the following:
A solicited shot of my boys does not, in fact, happen so seamlessly and rewardingly like in The Way of The Gun. Benicio Del Toro and Ryan Philippe's characters evidently scored three grand a piece and were in and out of the bank in a few hours. (They even gave the interviewer a shitton of trouble, asking "How come if a man comes on to a woman and she slaps him, people say she's standing up for her rights; but if a homosexual man comes on to a straight man, and gets his lights punched out, people say it's a hate crime?") You must see the inherent beauty in this scheme.
Here's how it really works, fyi. You have to spend a 6-8 week rigamarole of interviews, tests, samples of your jam, and so forth before you are accepted. If you pass muster, you're in "the program." Payment: $100. Once in "the program" you can do it up to 65 times a year (Arbitrarily. I have more than 65/year in me.), which amounts to $6,500 total. Once again, we were deceived by film.
Needless to say, we stopped jerking off. ¶ 8:48 PM
- sperm+donation (I didn't like the word "donation." Sounds like we're giving it up for free.)
- sperm+bank (Most geared towards donor recipients, not the potential donors themselves.)
- sperm+bank+cash (mostly turned up shadey pseudo-porn sites)
A solicited shot of my boys does not, in fact, happen so seamlessly and rewardingly like in The Way of The Gun. Benicio Del Toro and Ryan Philippe's characters evidently scored three grand a piece and were in and out of the bank in a few hours. (They even gave the interviewer a shitton of trouble, asking "How come if a man comes on to a woman and she slaps him, people say she's standing up for her rights; but if a homosexual man comes on to a straight man, and gets his lights punched out, people say it's a hate crime?") You must see the inherent beauty in this scheme.
Here's how it really works, fyi. You have to spend a 6-8 week rigamarole of interviews, tests, samples of your jam, and so forth before you are accepted. If you pass muster, you're in "the program." Payment: $100. Once in "the program" you can do it up to 65 times a year (Arbitrarily. I have more than 65/year in me.), which amounts to $6,500 total. Once again, we were deceived by film.
Needless to say, we stopped jerking off. ¶ 8:48 PM
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I'm not sure if "A shot of cum: $3000" is entirely true, but here is the deal, you get about 60-100$ per sperm donation and generally signup to donate about once a week for a year or so.
For the best info on sperm banks checkout spermbanker.com
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For the best info on sperm banks checkout spermbanker.com
# posted by 
: 4:32 PM
: 4:32 PM
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