London Bridge I was listening to Fergie's song "London Bridge," and I'm beyond derelicts at this point. But I have to ask, what is London Bridge a metaphor for? Let me put it in context:

I'm such a lady but I'm dancing like a ho
Because you know what, I don't give a fuck, so here we go!
How come every time you come around
My London London Bridge want to go down?

So what is it? Her mood? Or is it some euphemism I'm not aware of? Maybe I'm just not being postmodern enough. I was thinking maybe she arches her back a lot. Which is sexy, but not nearly as sexy as what she did a year ago. But goddammit! what was the original "London Bridge" really about? Of course, I was constantly reminded by some smug asshat in highschool that (ooooh! pertinent fact!) "Ring Around the Rosie" is code for the black plague. Therefore, is it that strange to assume that "London Bridge" means something else?

Okay. I lied. I wasn't beyond derelicts after all. Maybe...maybe I'm out of step on this one, but maybe this isn't a good career move. Tribute to an age-old English transportation stucture, sold to the US, and reproduced in some arcane location in Arizona or (OR!), jingles for Depends?

But then again, I do have stretch marks on my arms (why?), and I can't explain all the metaphors in my music either.  ¶ 11:44 PM